What the fuck is the fuss?

I am going to have to go ahead and say that New Years is the mother of all worthless holidays. I am putting it above Halloween, solely because girls like to dress up like whores on October 31st and that's at least somewhat beneficial for me. New Years on the other hand serves absolutely no purpose, except to apparently piss me off.

Honestly, someone tell me the purpose of this turd holiday? Resolutions? I call bullshit. How many people do you know (including your guilty self) that have stuck to their empty resolutions? These next two weeks, are actually quite amusing to us gym-goers. It almost becomes a holiday in itself to us, "empty promises to myself week". You know what I am talking about, when the gym suddenly becomes packed over 300% more than it is normally. All of these people make promises to shave off the blubber they have accumulated that could make a seal blush. All of us 'regulars' watch as you feverishly, and more often than not, incorrectly and dangerously thrust large dumbbells around the gym. Honestly, half the time I think these two-week gym-goers stop coming around not out of a failed resolution, but because they have injured themselves while trying to lift. Way to go Arnold.

Ok, so its clearly not the resolutions that make this a "holiday". Is it the obsessive amount of drinking that leads new years morning to be the single worst drinking driving day of the year? Nope, couldn't be that. Or is it, that at 12Am everyone gets to be a slut and make out with whoever they want? Can't imagine how oral herpes spreads like it does... Maybe its going out to a nice place and dressing formally with friends? Yeah, I love spending 150$ to wait in like 3 hours for a drink and then ultimately vomit on my nice clothes.

So I gave up on this 'holiday' 2 weeks before it came. Amongst my friends arguing over Baltimore vs. DC, where do you want to piss away $250+ on a hotel room and ticket to a party, I said to myself fuck it. I will just do whatever is cheap and comes up the day off. So I went to a small party and had a decent time. In my drunken state around 4AM, I got on facebook and changed my status to "happy fucking new year". When I woke up, I was bombarded by emails and messages telling me I had a 'potty mouth' and I was being mean or surly about the holiday. You're fucking right I am. That holiday sucks. It loves to go ATM and be double-teamed. Fuck it. How's that for surly?